HEROIN
well so far i've tried my best to keep the words "I" "me" and "mine" off of all these pages, but i just can't figure out a way to write this without using all three of them and then some, so-here goes........what the fuck is up with this fascination with herion?!?! didn't we get over this shit in the sixties.....?! i mean, what the ??!? i was reading an article the other day, and it was talking about the rise of what they so lovingly referred to as "HEROIN CHIC", whatever that means,............ hey, i'll be the first to admit that back in the good old days when everything sucked i too had that adolescent fascination with keith richards (and even jim morrison for a little while)and the whole down and out tough guy thing, but eventually, i grew out of it........probably when puberty started to fade and i realized that nihlistic self mutilation wasn't going to lead me anywhere except into a world of hurt.........but hey, here we are, twenty-five years later, and it seems like everyone and their mother is trying heroin, or at least acting like they are.........calvin klein has all these ads with young wasted looking kids hanging out in their underwear, sunken eyed and staring glumly off into nowhere which is somehow supposed to make me want to buy: ? what? underwears? jeans? what? i don't get it.....and then there are all the other ads and magazine covers which are sporting models which are clearly cut from the same cloth, some of whom have been 'painted' up with little grey bags under their eyes and fake bruises on their arms and other adorable little touches to give them that worn and wasted look............hey, for all i know, some of them may actually BE wasted, which would be even sadder, but i sort of doubt it......at any rate...now i don't know fiona apple personally, and i know that thin is still in, but what is up with this girl in her videos?!?!? i'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that she was too young to know what was going on when the video director told her to take off her clothes and roll around amidst the passed out bodies of her video 'playmates', or that maybe she just didn't notice all of the drug paraphernalia laying around the room or was just having a bad day in her underwears but...........i don't know, it just seems so bizarre to me that people are actually looking at this as though it is somehow "COOL", or something that anyone would actually want to do, or better yet, actually ASPIRE to!..........well, i hate to be the one to piss on anyone's parade here, but there is NOTHING cool about drug addiction. really. trust me on this.......if you ask people who are actually addicted to heroin,(not just faking it for the "image" but actually USING it) 12 out of ten of them will tell you they would give anything to be FREE of their addiction and to GET OFF drugs. they would tell you that their lives are a living HELL while using, that everything they do is a constant struggle, to either get high, or stay high, or get the money to get the drugs to attempt all of the above. now i don't use the term 'living hell' lightly, because i've been to hell before, and sure isn't like they picture it on tv or in the movies or magazines and whatnot........Hell is a REAL place and you get there by sticking a needle in your arm and taking a left. .......heroin is probably the most powerful drug there is, (other than nicotine and/or fear, but that's a whole other issue....) and if you give it the chance, it WILL ruin your life and take you to one of three places: jails, institutions, or death. it's that simple. if you start a relationship with this drug, eventually, it WILL kick your ass, regardless of who you are, or how smart you think you are or tough or how much money you have, or what kind of background you have, or any other thing you can possibly think of ....this drug does NOT care, it's an EQUAL OPPORTUNITY DESTROYER and it will fuck up your life-probably sooner than later......i know i know, YOU'RE DIFFERENT!! and no one ever thinks they'll get hooked, or that it will 'happen to them'..... right.....i know, you're different.....hopefully you're really really different, you're special - you might even be an ARTIST!!!...but before you wake up dead from your terminal uniqueness, ...you will wake up sick as a dog on a regular basis, and live in constant fear of withdrawal, overdose, getting caught by the police, getting caught in the middle of a robbery which you will eventually resort to to get the money to pay for your habit, or if you can stomach it, you may turn to prostitution and sell your body or what's left of it in order to get that next fix. any real friends or family you have will leave you as you begin to turn your back on them to spend time with people who are 'like you', meaning people who use......whatever education you have will be of no use as the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual craving of the disease take over your life........in short- this drug will take everything you have and leave you with NOTHING. and that's if you're one of the lucky ones......
i'm not trying to preach here, people are free to do whatever they want......i'm just trying to give you the facts, because it really makes me sick when i see people glamorizing something they know nothing about.......i mean think of all the people we've already lost because of this vicious shit........what kind of music would jimi hendrix be making right now, or janis joplin, or charlie parker, or billie holiday, or any of the other thousands of nameless junkies who have died as a result of this disease......what a waste. and it's still going on and on and on.......curt cobain,..........and so on......there is NOTHING romantic about it. period. dying young is stupid. .....i've heard all the excuses before, hell i made some of them up, but NONE of them are worth a shit, there's just no reason to do heroin. that's it........if you or someone you know is considering this, PLEASE please think twice..........and if you know someone who is hooked already, GET SOME HELP!!!!!!!! .......before it's too late.......if you think you might want to do heroin, or have a friend who does, TALK about it....look into it....ask yourself why? .....take care of eachother.....love eachother....love your LIFE...........................................................................................................if nothing else, maybe we could all think twice before we buy stuff that glamorizes this whole thing.............and maybe we'll all start to wake up.........i don't know, i just had to get this off my chest while i'm trying to keep my side of the street clean.................so that's it for now....... here's to wishing you a long, happy healthy life, one in which you are free to do what you choose, and hopefully, the next time you see someone glamorizing drug addiction, it will make YOU sick too, and that's ALL you'll be sick from. later......
TAKE ME BACK......
well so far i've tried my best to keep the words "I" "me" and "mine" off of all these pages, but i just can't figure out a way to write this without using all three of them and then some, so-here goes........what the fuck is up with this fascination with herion?!?! didn't we get over this shit in the sixties.....?! i mean, what the ??!? i was reading an article the other day, and it was talking about the rise of what they so lovingly referred to as "HEROIN CHIC", whatever that means,............ hey, i'll be the first to admit that back in the good old days when everything sucked i too had that adolescent fascination with keith richards (and even jim morrison for a little while)and the whole down and out tough guy thing, but eventually, i grew out of it........probably when puberty started to fade and i realized that nihlistic self mutilation wasn't going to lead me anywhere except into a world of hurt.........but hey, here we are, twenty-five years later, and it seems like everyone and their mother is trying heroin, or at least acting like they are.........calvin klein has all these ads with young wasted looking kids hanging out in their underwear, sunken eyed and staring glumly off into nowhere which is somehow supposed to make me want to buy: ? what? underwears? jeans? what? i don't get it.....and then there are all the other ads and magazine covers which are sporting models which are clearly cut from the same cloth, some of whom have been 'painted' up with little grey bags under their eyes and fake bruises on their arms and other adorable little touches to give them that worn and wasted look............hey, for all i know, some of them may actually BE wasted, which would be even sadder, but i sort of doubt it......at any rate...now i don't know fiona apple personally, and i know that thin is still in, but what is up with this girl in her videos?!?!? i'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that she was too young to know what was going on when the video director told her to take off her clothes and roll around amidst the passed out bodies of her video 'playmates', or that maybe she just didn't notice all of the drug paraphernalia laying around the room or was just having a bad day in her underwears but...........i don't know, it just seems so bizarre to me that people are actually looking at this as though it is somehow "COOL", or something that anyone would actually want to do, or better yet, actually ASPIRE to!..........well, i hate to be the one to piss on anyone's parade here, but there is NOTHING cool about drug addiction. really. trust me on this.......if you ask people who are actually addicted to heroin,(not just faking it for the "image" but actually USING it) 12 out of ten of them will tell you they would give anything to be FREE of their addiction and to GET OFF drugs. they would tell you that their lives are a living HELL while using, that everything they do is a constant struggle, to either get high, or stay high, or get the money to get the drugs to attempt all of the above. now i don't use the term 'living hell' lightly, because i've been to hell before, and sure isn't like they picture it on tv or in the movies or magazines and whatnot........Hell is a REAL place and you get there by sticking a needle in your arm and taking a left. .......heroin is probably the most powerful drug there is, (other than nicotine and/or fear, but that's a whole other issue....) and if you give it the chance, it WILL ruin your life and take you to one of three places: jails, institutions, or death. it's that simple. if you start a relationship with this drug, eventually, it WILL kick your ass, regardless of who you are, or how smart you think you are or tough or how much money you have, or what kind of background you have, or any other thing you can possibly think of ....this drug does NOT care, it's an EQUAL OPPORTUNITY DESTROYER and it will fuck up your life-probably sooner than later......i know i know, YOU'RE DIFFERENT!! and no one ever thinks they'll get hooked, or that it will 'happen to them'..... right.....i know, you're different.....hopefully you're really really different, you're special - you might even be an ARTIST!!!...but before you wake up dead from your terminal uniqueness, ...you will wake up sick as a dog on a regular basis, and live in constant fear of withdrawal, overdose, getting caught by the police, getting caught in the middle of a robbery which you will eventually resort to to get the money to pay for your habit, or if you can stomach it, you may turn to prostitution and sell your body or what's left of it in order to get that next fix. any real friends or family you have will leave you as you begin to turn your back on them to spend time with people who are 'like you', meaning people who use......whatever education you have will be of no use as the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual craving of the disease take over your life........in short- this drug will take everything you have and leave you with NOTHING. and that's if you're one of the lucky ones......
i'm not trying to preach here, people are free to do whatever they want......i'm just trying to give you the facts, because it really makes me sick when i see people glamorizing something they know nothing about.......i mean think of all the people we've already lost because of this vicious shit........what kind of music would jimi hendrix be making right now, or janis joplin, or charlie parker, or billie holiday, or any of the other thousands of nameless junkies who have died as a result of this disease......what a waste. and it's still going on and on and on.......curt cobain,..........and so on......there is NOTHING romantic about it. period. dying young is stupid. .....i've heard all the excuses before, hell i made some of them up, but NONE of them are worth a shit, there's just no reason to do heroin. that's it........if you or someone you know is considering this, PLEASE please think twice..........and if you know someone who is hooked already, GET SOME HELP!!!!!!!! .......before it's too late.......if you think you might want to do heroin, or have a friend who does, TALK about it....look into it....ask yourself why? .....take care of eachother.....love eachother....love your LIFE...........................................................................................................if nothing else, maybe we could all think twice before we buy stuff that glamorizes this whole thing.............and maybe we'll all start to wake up.........i don't know, i just had to get this off my chest while i'm trying to keep my side of the street clean.................so that's it for now....... here's to wishing you a long, happy healthy life, one in which you are free to do what you choose, and hopefully, the next time you see someone glamorizing drug addiction, it will make YOU sick too, and that's ALL you'll be sick from. later......
TAKE ME BACK......